It’s a funny thing you know, we all go through life taking the ups and downs in our stride and then one day something happens that knocks us for six, something totally takes the breath from our lungs, makes our legs feel weak and the bottom lip starts to quiver.
I recently had such an event and let me tell you, I wasn’t quite prepared for it.
Even though I am entering into a new era of my life and sort of reinventing myself and had told myself to expect the odd failure, and so long as I ‘failed forward’, all would be well.
Theory can be good, but reality can hurt a little.
Prior to the blow I had been doing an awful lot of coaching exercises and once I had had time to absorb the impact, I slowly came to the realisation that, based on some of the coaching techniques, I simply had to look at it in a new way, as if it were a new beginning that whatever negative had happened there is always a twist and something positive can be found somewhere, you may have to dig deep, really deep, to find it, but it is there.
I was moping around the house and I spied my open suitcase, half unpacked on the ground and on top of some clothes I noticed one of the books I had taken with me, but not got around to reading.
It was like a sign, it was, of course just the ‘Rising Strong’ Book by Brené Brown, looking up at me telling me to Rise Strong again, it was a sign. (OK just my brain telling me that, but still, I took it as a sign)
So, the rest of the day I felt much more cheerful. I took all the learnings on board from the week, I also took on board the excellent advice I was given, realised that bloomin’ hell, I have pinpointed a weakness and know what to do now. There is now a further opportunity to grow and what’s more it was directional, I now know what I have to do to get where I want to be.
I am so happy about that I thought that I would like to share at least the techniques I practised this week that enabled me to discover that turning a negative into a positive really is possible.
I dare you to get a piece of paper and a pen and at least try it, go on, what have you got to lose?
This is how to celebrate failure…
Think back to the last week or so (further if you must) of 5 things that you saw as failures. Things you didn’t do as well as you would have liked to have done or things that you felt went against you. Write each one down in a list, numbered one to 5 (you can write more than 5 if you wish, but 5 is a good number to start with) leaving a bit of space between each item.
Note: it can be simple things like you tried a new recipe that didn’t quite work out as expected, but at least you cooked a new meal from scratch, hey, go you!
Now, if you have someone you can ask, brainstorm together and go through the list and think of how each failure can be seen as a success. If you do it alone, take a bit longer to think of the positive side. What did each failure teach you? Ask yourself ‘What else?’ until you can think of no more silver linings.
Write down the learning(s) under each one.
Look at the learnings and see if there are any that stand out, how does that make you feel?
Do that on a regular basis and soon you will start to see the positive in loads of things.
I guess the moral of this story is: Be a Weeble, “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.”
(taken from a really old advert from my youth)